Greetings, "mission" statement, First Review (for H6).

Greetings one and all, and many thanks if you have happened to stumble upon this toxic waste dump of all things infected with a celluloid (and digital video, of course) sickness. (The odd set of pics to the left will be explained in the H6 review below, for those confounded and down right put off by creep that is Brad Garrett). This is a page dedicated to reviewing and commentating upon all manner of strange cinema, from the grind-house classics of yester-year such as I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, THE TAMING OF REBECCA, DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILZATION, SALO : THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM, ERASERHEAD, EL TOPO, to the modern madness of HAUTE TENSION, MARTYRS, NEKROMANTIK, BAISE MOI, TEARS OF KALI, and so far beyond that you'll want to tear your fukking eyes out with a rusty melon baller!

As a fan I encourage feedback, conversation, and discussion, from other fans. I aim to entertain, and hopefully warn the discerning reader to take heed when necessary, when to skip it altogether, or that I have found the next EL TOPO (highly unlikely, that last one).

Please keep in mind that these are just MY OPINIONS and a personal celebration of the art forms represented here. Take them and leave them at will. I am jaded and like really, REALLY DISTURBING CINEMA, though not necessarily just gore for gore sake, or rape, or whatever the case may be. I will be covering ALL manner of cinema, as repeatedly stated, from classic horror and sci fi to all manner of hardcore strangeness. And as much recent stuff as I can come by.

THIS PAGE IS NOT MEANT FOR CHILDREN, THE EASILY OFFENDED OR WEAK OF HEART. In other words, don't be that douche-bag who's kid finds this and tries to staple his sisters lips to the cats ass because he came across a review for HUMAN CENTIPEDE or some such stupidity. If you are that brain dead, well, you don't need to be here so, shoo, go ... away with you now ... ACHTUNG!!!

And now, without further adieu, here is the first review here at VD'S VILE VULGAR VIDEO VAULT. Salude!

FILM : REVIEW

H6 : DIARIO de un ASESINO (H6 : DIARY OF A SERIAL KILLER)

2006 D: Martin Garrido Barone) Spain

Well, right from the get go I'll say this : I am really, really glad I picked this up, having never heard of this little gem before. A real little slice o'perversion, but presented in this very thoughtful fashion, very deep with this wicked, sardonic sense of sick black humor that runs the course from just after the credits (the intro is truly humorless) until the final (and unexpected) frames.

Enter Antonio Frau, newly released inmate who is out of the pen 25 years after viciously beating and choking his girlfriend to death (the afformentioned pre-credit unpleasantness). The scene is startlingly realistic ... I have seen those people before, all too often unfortunately. Antonio slaps the living shit out of his girl, pulls hair . . . then lashes out, in the most creepy way, after she deems the relationship over as he ". . . hits me too much!"

Once out, he is indeed a changed man. Now, in all honesty, I did have real issue with one particular aspect. The actor playing Antonio (Fernando Acaso) bore a seriously creepy resemblance to BRAD GARRETT (the big dumb and creepy Oedipal fukk-face brother from 90's sitcom shit-pile Everybody Loves Raymond) . I think for me that kind of made things funnier at points than they were most certainly intended to be, but, hey, my sense of humor is questionable to begin with.

But I digress.

Here, Antonio has inherited an old, decrepit hotel from a deceased relative (aunt or mother, need to re-watch for the small details a bit I think, as the subtitles blew). When he finds out it used to be a whorehouse, this psychopathic sickness comes out of him again and pretty much immediately, but this time it's different, focused. This time he wants to rid the world of all filth, and believes that he can redeem the souls of junkie prostitutes. Obviously the rehabilitative powers of prison worked wonders again, ha. He is on a mission from God, and apparently has a calling card as he has extended conversations and receives commands from the author of the Maddest (er, I mean Greatest, uh, yeah) Story ever told.

As the film plays out, it is narrated by Antonio as he puts his entries into the diary. He wants to experience every aspect, wants to know why these women do what they do, and where is the line of redemption, if it even exists at all? He turns room number 6 of this immense, empty old whorehouse into his "salvation room" (my phrase not theirs), replete with plastic sheeting on the walls, a tarp covered floor, and a lil table smack in the center of the otherwise bare room (well, there is a sink ) with restraints . . . hmmm.

He also fetishizes over his mother . . . it's very creepy. Eventually, a female ex-con marries him after her own 15 year stint. She works nights as a nurse and spasticly fukks her plastic surgeon boss every chance she gets. While this goes on, Antonio brings home these strung out prostitutes, gets them to wear his mothers whore lingeres and pumps (which these stumbling Spanish junkie sex dolls happen to look really good in). Now, this is done very well, as he takes polaroids after he cons them into being tied up to the table. Strange, fetishistic and sexy polaroids, and the way this is shot, the conflicting feelings within the viewer of both titillation by the sensuality of the bondage/s + m aspect at the start, and the repulsion of what is really happening, and knowing that no good whatsoever is going to come from the situation for the poor addicted prostitutes. Also, the ultimate repulsion of your own confliction . . . that is the most beautiful part, isn't it? However, any possible arousal and sensuality is shattered once he starts starving them, dehydrating them, the make-up for which is phenomenal, as the actresses were skinny to begin with, but through interesting lighting and angle (as well as make-up techniques) they appeared to be just withering away. And of course he questions them, why do you do what you do? Then, he hops up onto the table and rapes them while they are restrained. These scenes are done well, being sleazy and uncomfortable as these girls cry and cry and cry, and he just kisses them, touches them softly and humps, fully clothed, like a rabid bunny, cold and mechanical-rough, and comes quick. He refuses to ever let the whores see his dingaling-thing, and urinates into a bottle after sex, which he then proceeds to dump onto the girls faces and hair when they beg for water, much to their great displeasure.

The most convincing and cute is the second girl (I think Sonia Moreno). She goes onto a long (and all too true) diatribe about why she has thrown her life away to the disassociative cocoon of dope (at his behest) . She looks like a young Lina Romay (Jess Franco's partner of many years), suffers the most torture with I think 4 or 5 different rapes, among other degradations. She is almost saved, but voluntarily gives up, and takes the release of death (wise girlie, ha).

Eventually he lets himself kind of be caught. He admits in his first diary entry that he wants the fame, books to be written and films to be made of his murderous exploits. He is beyond taken with the idea and very, very aware of his actions. From here on I can not tell you, as the twist in the ending was kind of neat. Also, by the end of the film, you kind of like the guy. It sounds sick, but stay with me. He portrays a true psycho path . . . well . . . like a true psychopath. Also, he dismembers the girls when he is finished with them with a small chainsaw. While hundreds of gallons of thick Karo blood soak both him and the room, not one dismemberment is graphically shown, which I was not thrilled with. I would have liked to have seen more mutilation, but the deviant sexuality and unpredictably frightening nature of Antonio, as he believes he needs to up the ante every time for them to attain true salvation, essentially creating a damned if you do situation.

This film is compared to HOSTEL on the box, and I have read others bitch and call it "torture porn." That is a nonsense term, for starters. TCM, the original LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, these were torture porn if you wanna look at it like that. Also, last I remember, porn involved penetration. This only has exsanguination (HA! I kill me). ANyway, this is FAR BETTER than HOSTEL could ever hope to be, and it is a deep, sickly humored film. Definitely a thinking piece.

Long story short, I definitely recommend this weird, strange, at times beautifully shot film to discerning fans of the extreme. If you like shit like the SAW films this will be way too cerebral for you. However, it's not the greatest film ever, but it is never slow and is consistently entertaining, full of kinky situations, depraved cruelty, and biting dark humor.

Recommended. Caveat Emptor and enjoy. ***1/2 out of 5 possible